A New Home
I spent so many years in sadness and darkness that I found that space to be my most comfortable home. Those of you who have experienced heart sorrow (it is here depression lies) understand that, when we are truly being honest with ourselves, this is a place of bizarre, familiar comfort.
What holds us back from anything? From everything?
Why are we fearful to be joyful and happy? Why are we fearful of manifestation? For me it was self defense…I can’t be disappointed if I’m ready for disappointment, and I can’t be rejected if I reject first. What is this garbage based in? Old hurts from first grade and playground teasing? Unkind family members taking out their own heart sorrow on me? Regardless of what may have caused your wounds it is now the time to step back and say, “ok-those things happened. But I can find compassion for the people involved; I can understand the events differently now because I am different now—or seeking to be different, I can move on because I am in control”. I got on a bit of a tangent; my seat of power post is coming soon.
But we must find power in the heart too. Power to heal ourselves, and to remain open.
I was just sitting in meditation, again having procrastinated writing, but really readying myself for asana practice. And I felt something I’ve been feeling a lot lately, an intense hearty overwhelming wave of joy, peace, and happiness. How have I accomplished this I wondered?
Just like we may sometimes feel hurt and sadness coursing through our veins, seemingly rising up out of every cell of our body (which is the case, but for another time also!) we can feel happiness in the same way.
The First steps to True Joy:
Be grateful! For EVERYTHING-the sun, your toes, your lungs, your friends, your home, your tenacity, your everything!!! Be GRATEFUL.
Be kind to other people! When you are kind to strangers, acquaintances, friends, family members YOU feel better. More often than not people are just looking for a smile, and when you offer one peace settles and unnecessary emotions for that moment dissipate. I live in NYC. Take my word for it.
Be kind to yourself! “If you don’t love yourself how in the hell you gonna love someone else?”-Rupaul.She speaks the truth! You are your best friend and greatest ally, don’t take that away from yourself. We are so unkind to ourselves in every aspect of life. And why? For what? The people who have rejected us or been unkind to us, tried to show us that we were NOT loveable? Honey babies they are cess pools of hurt, blockages, and deep deep sadness. I do not condone their actions or undermine your experiences, our experiences, but when we find compassion for those who have done us wrong (regardless of the extent) our lives get better! Drinking poison and expecting someone else to die has never worked! And this idea extends fully into our actual bodies.
Eat well, find balance, and move your body! YOUR body, not “it”, not this thing or object to be primped and packaged and nipped and cut and used, but your home. The home of your soul and heart. Your body is the reason you exist, it protects you, and is the source of life.
Eat well because greens are delicious and fruit is too. Eat well because it’s pleasurable, nourishing, and healing, because it is a joyful experience to be shared. Not nourishing the body is not nourishing the SELF. Find balance so that you do not feel deprived, greens and fruit and french fries and chocolate cake (these are my favorite foods, along with tomatoes and ketchup-HEINZ! Thank you, lots of sugar!) Treat yourself, take care of yourself. Exercise to open up passageways and release old wounds and rubbish, exercise to hold your heart in high esteem.
Make your heart your number one priority! If someone is robbing your heart of its emotional vibrancy and innate openness, or habits you have acquired are robbing your heart of the ability to pump at its fullest capacity, try to begin to remove those people and habits from your life. I know this is easier said than done, but when the energy vampires are gone and oxygen and vitamins are flowing through your body, joy can begin to settle in.
If we begin with concepts and baby steps, little by little, we’ll be swept up away and into the joyful ecstatic pulsating ethers of happiness and peace.
Your comfortable, safe, visceral “home” will no longer be dark and cold, lonely and confusing but exhilarating and tingling with brightness.
blessed be + om shanti, beauty one!