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December 24, 2014

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Moving Through Frustration + Impatience

 

**dedicated to V.  thank you!**

 

One night over veggie burgers with my dear friend, V, I found myself talking about my interactions with men. How it’s a point of deeply rooted fear for me, how its probably the biggest suitcase I’ve had to unpack (as Linnie would say), how its reflective of old patterning I want so much to be rid of, but simply can not rush through.

 

Speaking about my frustration and sadness, but acknowledging the ways I’m different due to my practice and help from Lindsay (my love guru), V said four words that have had an ENORMOUS, comforting, encouraging impact on me- “look at that growth”.

 

Oh thank you! Thank you for saying that!

 

If you are on the healing path you may find yourself frustrated and impatient (I know that I do!). Especially when you’ve been doing your affirmations, your mantra, your asana, your meditations and months have gone by and nothing has seemed to come to fruition.

 

Usually I try to breathe into it, observe it, remind myself that Patanjali says we must not let impatience take us from our path, I would repeat “I release fear and I call in trust”, and I would keep going.

 

However, all of these ideas sometimes feel really intangible, not enough to help me up the steepest part of the climb.  And when we’re in our greatest throes of despair or upset, these ideas can sometimes just make us angrier. “I HAVE BEEN PATIENT! I CAN’T KEEP GOING. I HAVE BEEN GOING, NOTHING IS HAPPENING. F**K THIS!”

 

This is when V’s words are so vitally important!

 

Look at that growth!

 

To stop and “look at that growth” allows us to sink deeply into the ways our practice has worked and our transformation has begun. It reminds us we are in the right place, and that the same way we’ve helped ourselves in the past, we can continue to help ourselves now.

 

To reflect on these tangible solid ways in which I’ve changed through my dedicated and devoted practice was exactly what I needed (and what I’ve been needing) to continue on.

Are you handling your impatience and frustrations better than you would have a year ago? Are you more calm and articulate in expressing yourself? Have you taken great leaps of fear that you would have never imagined before?

 

Look at that growth! Honor that growth! Allow it to take you into presence, empowerment and the excitement needed to keep moving forward.

 

We often get so caught up in trying to get somewhere we forget how far we have come. When we forget how far we have come we find ourselves discouraged, confused, and annoyed.   But if we “look at that growth”, we think  “well holy shit! Look at what I’ve accomplished, look at how I’ve changed, I DID THIS! I can keep going! “ When you stop to “look at that growth” you honor yourself and your soul’s stirring + journey, you see the deep power you hold and because of that, you are able to begin again-this time even more patient, trusting, attuned, receptive.

 

Oh baby, look at that growth!

 

Thank you, V. I love you, I am grateful for you!

 

blessed be + om shanti, beauty one!

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